Kink & Fetish Terms Everyone Should Know

Kink and fetish exploration can feel like entering an entirely new world and like any world, it has its own language. If you’ve ever felt confused by the huge amount of terms, don’t worry you’re not alone. This beginner guide/glossary is your go-to guide to understanding the most commonly used terms in the kink and fetish community. Whether you’re just starting to explore your desires or you want to better communicate with a partner.

Why Knowing the Language Matters

Understanding the right words/terms helps you express your interests, ask questions. Just like learning a new language, learning kink terms is similar and does help you navigate your wants and connect with others.

Core Kink & Fetish Terms

Kink: Any unconventional/non-mainstream sexual interest, fantasy, or activity that goes beyond what’s considered “vanilla.” Kink is a broad term that includes everything from light spanking to roleplay.
Fetish: A specific object, body part or scenario that consistently turns someone on sometimes to the point where it’s necessary for arousal. Common fetishes include feet, leather or latex.
Vanilla: A term used to describe sex that doesn’t include kink or fetish elements. It’s not a negative term just a neutral way to describe traditional or mainstream sexual preferences.
BDSM: An acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. It’s an umbrella term that includes many different power-play and sensation activities.
Dom (Dominant): A person who takes control in a scene or dynamic. They may give commands, set rules or physically lead the interaction.
Sub (Submissive): The person who gives up control. They may follow commands, serve the dominant or/and explore sensations like restraint or impact play.
Switch: Someone who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles depending on the mood or partner.
Scene: A specific kinky activity or encounter. A scene might last a few minutes or several hours and includes anything from spanking to full roleplay scenarios.
Safe Word: A pre agreed word that signals someone wants to stop or pause a scene. a
Aftercare: Support given after a scene to help return you or your partner return to a normal state.

Consent & Limits & Safety

Consent: An enthusiastic, informed, and freely given agreement to participate in any activity. Consent is the foundation of all kink and must be ongoing and revocable.
RACK: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink, a philosophy that recognizes that all kink activities involve risk, but that participants can choose to engage as long as they’re fully informed and consenting.
SSC: Safe, Sane, and Consensual, huge guiding principle in kink emphasizing safety, mental clarity and consent.
Hard Limit: A firm boundary, an activity you absolutely do not want to engage in, ever. Everyone has the right to set and uphold hard limits.
Soft Limit: An activity you’re unsure about or only willing to explore under specific conditions. These are more flexible and may change.
Negotiation: A conversation between partners before a scene where they discuss interests, limits, safe words, and expectations.
Safe Space: An environment, online or offline where people feel respected, accepted, and free from judgment.

Common Kinks & Dynamics

Bondage: Restricting someone’s movement using ropes, cuffs, tape, or other tools. Can be physical, psychological, or both.
Impact Play: Includes spanking, paddling, flogging, or other forms of physical contact designed to create sensation. The level of intensity varies based on preferences.
Roleplay: Acting out scenarios (like teacher/student, doctor/patient) to create an immersive sexual or psychological experience.
Degradation: Verbal or physical humiliation that is consensual and negotiated — not to be confused with abuse. Often about power dynamics.
Praise Kink: The opposite of degradation, getting turned on by compliments, approval or verbal affirmations during play.
Edge Play: Activities that involve heightened risk, such as breath play or knife play. Requires advanced trust, communication, and experience.
Pet Play: A kink where one partner takes on the role of an animal (such as puppies or kittens) and the other is the caretaker. Often includes costumes, behaviors, and dynamics.
Objectification: Treating someone as an object or role (such as furniture or servant)

Final Thoughts

You don’t need to master every term overnight and you certainly don’t need to perform kink/fetishes in any specific way. Feeling nervous or unsure is totally normal. That’s why communities, blogs, platforms like Pervert.Chat, and even basic glossaries like this one exist.

You can learn more by reading your complete beginner’s guide to understanding kinks.